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Your mentality is everything

mentality

Your mentality is everything

Your mentality matters more than you think. Your mentality is everything.

It determines how you interact with others and it determines how you view your goals. It determines how you go through life.

I’ve been realizing that a little anger towards your current situation is not a bad thing. It adds fuel. It adds urgency. Those two ingredients equate to immense action taking that matters.

Ed Latimore says it best.

You need to be pissed off at how your life is going. I clearly remember the day that I got so pissed at my life I almost cried. I was getting ready to close the cell phone store I worked in before I headed home to the room in my friend’s house I was renting for $200/month. Someone came in to buy a phone with 2 minutes left until closing. I couldn’t kick them out because of company policy. Instead, I had to put on the fake customer service personality until they left an hour later without even buying anything. At that moment, I had enough.

I felt like I should have better in my life. I barely had enough money to do anything besides work, go to the gym, and drink. I didn’t feel proud of the person I was. I was 27 and had to be on some customer’s time schedule for $10/hr. I sat angrily in my car for almost an hour. Then I decided I was going to start doing whatever it took to make more money.

This was before I knew anything about making money online, so I enlisted in the Army so they’d pay for school. I was willing to suffer and risk the possibility of being sent to a combat theatre so I could be worth more. This is when I stopped drinking because I wanted to give myself the best shot of getting my shit together. When I got back from basic training and AIT, I lived across the street from my gym so I didn’t risk falling into any BS that screwed my life up.


The only mindset that matters is wanting it bad enough. My only motivation was not being the same person at age 33 that I was at age 27. I didn’t care how long it took to get my money right. That’s the only real mindset you need.

For the longest, I adopted the mentality of being patient. I got into reading philosophy and studying stoicism. It was great. The downside was that it made me too laid back. I didn’t wake up every morning with a fire to take action.

All that changed when I adopted a different mentality. I call it the pissed off mentality.

Meaning, you’re pissed off at your current life situation. That includes your finances, home, love life, and friendships. You’re simply pissed off. You’re tired of it all and ready to do whatever it takes to change your circumstances.

I recently adopted this mentality and it seems to be more effective for accomplishing important goals in life.

Farewell, Anthony Bourdain

I woke up today to the news that Anthony Bourdain had passed away. As of right now, the story remains that it was a suicide.

Anthony Bourdain was someone that I admired. I had read his biography. I watched every season and episode of Parts Unknown. I read many of his articles and watched some of his other TV shows. They were all good.

I admired Anthony because he was a hard worker. He was an enthusiast of life, and he wasn’t afraid to be himself. If you watch his show, or read his books, you’ll quickly realize that Anthony is who he is. He doesn’t change for any medium. He’s always his authentic self. That’s admirable. He wasn’t ashamed of his past years spent as a dishwasher, cocaine user, heroin user, or alcoholic. He knew it was part of his personal history and he freely shared it when the occasion was right.

Anthony was a 60 year old man who was in great physical condition, had arm tattoos, crazy hair, drank beer and was still cool. That’s what I liked about him. How many 60 year old men do you know that you look up to and think, ‘Man, this guy is cooler than me’? He never let age hold him back. As he grew older, he continued to do exactly as he wanted.

Considering all the experiences he had, countries he slept in, strangers he mingled with, and beers he enjoyed, I would say that Anthony Bourdain soaked up every last drop of life that he had. Anthony lived more in one single year than most of us can do in a lifetime.

Next time I stumble onto an episode of Parts Unknown, I know what I’m going to think.

“Man, Anthony was one badass moth** f***er. He really knew how to live.”

Farewell, Anthony Bourdain.

Social media and validation

Last weekend, I was at the restaurant called Yard House. I was minding my own business and eating my food. Then, Dennis Rodman walks in. You know who that is, right? He is famous for a number of reasons (Chicago Bulls, too much partying & a wild sense of style).

Of course, everyone started looking his way. Two guys even went up to him and asked for a photo. He said no, twice. It got me wondering about how much those guys, actually, wanted a photo with Dennis, versus wanting a photo to post it on their Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. I’m willing to bet they wanted the picture solely for their social media accounts. They craved the likes, and the validation of their followers. We all do.

They wanted their friends to comment, ‘Oh that’s so cool.’

And, ‘Where at!!?? You’re so lucky.’

Since I’m a huge NBA fan, I wanted a picture with Dennis too. But, I started thinking, if I never shared that photo with anyone, would I still want it? The answer was, not really. If I couldn’t show the photo to anyone, forever, then I was happy knowing I ran into him.

How many times is that not the case? Do we really need tons of pictures and short videos at Coachella? Or, do we really just want to show off to our social media followers? In reality, we want the likes, thumbs up and praise. We want the validation.

The entire point of life is to actually live it. The point of doing cool things is to be there, not to share it to the point that you’re never actually there in the moment. I’m willing to bet most people miss out on experiencing their cool moments (that they were looking forward to), because they are so busy taking the picture, ensuring the caption is perfect, and posting it.

How much social media validation do you really need?

Roaches, standards and being too picky

What is the difference between having standards and being too picky? Where do you draw the line?

I had an experience this weekend that made me ask that question. Did I have high standards, or was I simply being too picky? I’ll let you be the judge.

After searching for a new place to move into, I finally found one that had all the requirements I was looking for. Cool roommate, ideal location and affordable rent price. When I checked out the place 3 weeks prior, I did notice something that alarmed me. I saw three dead cockroaches on the kitchen counter tops. I asked the landlord/ potential future roommate if he had a roach issue.

The guy said no, and that he started noticing a few here and there only weeks ago. He said not to worry, because on move-in day they would be completely gone. He promised to clean up the house and get the roaches exterminated himself.

A few days later, I decided to take the room. I put down my deposit, shook his hand, and proceeded to wait for 3 weeks until move in day.

Finally, move in day arrived. I showed up to my new apartment, with my belongings, excited about the next few months. When I walked in I noticed something that got me worried.

I saw a few dead roaches scattered around the living room, and much much more in the kitchen. I even found two alive in my empty bedroom. I asked him what happened to his promise.

He said he had been working on spraying the house, and that they were dying. In my opinion, the issue looked significantly worse. WAY worse. I tried to remain cool and stated that we could work on it together and spray the house with Raid until they were completely eliminated (deep down inside I’m hesitant that it’ll be enough).

I walked into my new room, for a closer examination, and noticed that it was dusty and dirty. I decided that I should clean it up before bringing any of my belongings inside. I drove off to the local Target, only two miles down the street, to purchase some cleaning supplies. I bought a 3-pack of roach fumigation canisters, 2 Raid spray cans, disinfectant spray, and Swiffer wipes (he already had the mop).

I got back to the apartment and my future roommate was gone running errands (he had told me he would be gone). I unlocked the door and the place was completely dark (it was already dark outside). I turned on my phone’s flashlight, and proceeded to walk into the kitchen (the only light switch I knew of). To say the least, I didn’t like what I saw.

My flashlight poured onto the counter tops and I saw ROACHES EVERYWHERE. Easily 20 to 30 roaches. When I turned on the kitchen light most of them scattered out of sight. I went to grab a Raid spray can and sprayed those that were still in sight.

I noticed a huge roach scatter, and climb into the toaster. WTF.

I noticed roaches crawling all over the fridge. Again, WTF.

I thought to myself, this is not good. At this point, I was definitely worried. How was I supposed to cook and eat everyday when the roaches were all over the toaster, fridge, dishes and stove?

I walked back into my room after spraying roaches, for a few minutes, in the kitchen. I noticed three new roaches inside. I looked at the hallway walls and saw a few roaches there too. I walked into the bathroom and noticed roaches in there too. Three in the bathtub to be exact.

WTF.

I asked myself, “am I being too picky or do I have certain standards? Am I exaggerating the issue or am I simply too afraid to live outside of my comfort zone?” You can be the judge of that.

At this point, I’m was not excited anymore. A feeling of dread was creeping in. I felt like leaving and calling it all off. This was NOT what I was looking for.

But again, I said to myself, you shouldn’t be afraid to get outside of your comfort zone.

I know I’ve seen tons of comfort zone related pictures on Instagram. Is this what they are talking about?

I began cleaning my room. Dusting, sweeping and mopping. I even sprayed the perimeter with Raid. Around 80% through, I decided, that I didn’t care about stepping outside of my comfort zone, and into this specific situation. I know comfort zones are not ideal, but I didn’t care about exploring this zone.

I was not going to live comfortably. Period. Roaches were even crawling on the walls. It seemed out of control to me. It was clearly an infestation.

I texted the guy, asking when he would be returning. He responded with 15 minuets. I stepped outside to think and stood by my car.

I decided, that I didn’t care if I was being too picky. It was my money and I would have never agreed to this.

The guy finally comes back and we stepped into his apartment to chat. I told him that the roach situation was exaggerated. As we talked, I kept interrupting him by pointing out new roaches. I asked him, “How many roaches have you sprayed in the 10 minuets that we have been chatting?”

He said, “10 to 15.”

As he said that, a huge roach crawled next to him on the sofa. He flicked it off and sprayed it.

Roaches were even on the SOFA.

I told him that this was not what I had agreed to. He tried to convince me to stay for at least one month while he searched for another roommate. He assured me that the roaches would be completely gone in two weeks. Even if that was true, which I highly doubted, was I supposed to deal with roaches in the toaster and on the sofa for the upcoming two weeks?

I can’t. He said, “In that case, I’ll be forced to keep your deposit.”

“That’s understandable. Good luck with the roaches and finding a new roommate,” I said.

That’s the end of my experience, and the story.

Would you judge it as a standards issue or being too picky? When do you draw the line between the two?

Is this a case of being too hesitant to step outside of my comfort zone?