Tag Archives: live life

Social media and validation

Last weekend, I was at the restaurant called Yard House. I was minding my own business and eating my food. Then, Dennis Rodman walks in. You know who that is, right? He is famous for a number of reasons (Chicago Bulls, too much partying & a wild sense of style).

Of course, everyone started looking his way. Two guys even went up to him and asked for a photo. He said no, twice. It got me wondering about how much those guys, actually, wanted a photo with Dennis, versus wanting a photo to post it on their Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. I’m willing to bet they wanted the picture solely for their social media accounts. They craved the likes, and the validation of their followers. We all do.

They wanted their friends to comment, ‘Oh that’s so cool.’

And, ‘Where at!!?? You’re so lucky.’

Since I’m a huge NBA fan, I wanted a picture with Dennis too. But, I started thinking, if I never shared that photo with anyone, would I still want it? The answer was, not really. If I couldn’t show the photo to anyone, forever, then I was happy knowing I ran into him.

How many times is that not the case? Do we really need tons of pictures and short videos at Coachella? Or, do we really just want to show off to our social media followers? In reality, we want the likes, thumbs up and praise. We want the validation.

The entire point of life is to actually live it. The point of doing cool things is to be there, not to share it to the point that you’re never actually there in the moment. I’m willing to bet most people miss out on experiencing their cool moments (that they were looking forward to), because they are so busy taking the picture, ensuring the caption is perfect, and posting it.

How much social media validation do you really need?

Roaches, standards and being too picky

What is the difference between having standards and being too picky? Where do you draw the line?

I had an experience this weekend that made me ask that question. Did I have high standards, or was I simply being too picky? I’ll let you be the judge.

After searching for a new place to move into, I finally found one that had all the requirements I was looking for. Cool roommate, ideal location and affordable rent price. When I checked out the place 3 weeks prior, I did notice something that alarmed me. I saw three dead cockroaches on the kitchen counter tops. I asked the landlord/ potential future roommate if he had a roach issue.

The guy said no, and that he started noticing a few here and there only weeks ago. He said not to worry, because on move-in day they would be completely gone. He promised to clean up the house and get the roaches exterminated himself.

A few days later, I decided to take the room. I put down my deposit, shook his hand, and proceeded to wait for 3 weeks until move in day.

Finally, move in day arrived. I showed up to my new apartment, with my belongings, excited about the next few months. When I walked in I noticed something that got me worried.

I saw a few dead roaches scattered around the living room, and much much more in the kitchen. I even found two alive in my empty bedroom. I asked him what happened to his promise.

He said he had been working on spraying the house, and that they were dying. In my opinion, the issue looked significantly worse. WAY worse. I tried to remain cool and stated that we could work on it together and spray the house with Raid until they were completely eliminated (deep down inside I’m hesitant that it’ll be enough).

I walked into my new room, for a closer examination, and noticed that it was dusty and dirty. I decided that I should clean it up before bringing any of my belongings inside. I drove off to the local Target, only two miles down the street, to purchase some cleaning supplies. I bought a 3-pack of roach fumigation canisters, 2 Raid spray cans, disinfectant spray, and Swiffer wipes (he already had the mop).

I got back to the apartment and my future roommate was gone running errands (he had told me he would be gone). I unlocked the door and the place was completely dark (it was already dark outside). I turned on my phone’s flashlight, and proceeded to walk into the kitchen (the only light switch I knew of). To say the least, I didn’t like what I saw.

My flashlight poured onto the counter tops and I saw ROACHES EVERYWHERE. Easily 20 to 30 roaches. When I turned on the kitchen light most of them scattered out of sight. I went to grab a Raid spray can and sprayed those that were still in sight.

I noticed a huge roach scatter, and climb into the toaster. WTF.

I noticed roaches crawling all over the fridge. Again, WTF.

I thought to myself, this is not good. At this point, I was definitely worried. How was I supposed to cook and eat everyday when the roaches were all over the toaster, fridge, dishes and stove?

I walked back into my room after spraying roaches, for a few minutes, in the kitchen. I noticed three new roaches inside. I looked at the hallway walls and saw a few roaches there too. I walked into the bathroom and noticed roaches in there too. Three in the bathtub to be exact.

WTF.

I asked myself, “am I being too picky or do I have certain standards? Am I exaggerating the issue or am I simply too afraid to live outside of my comfort zone?” You can be the judge of that.

At this point, I’m was not excited anymore. A feeling of dread was creeping in. I felt like leaving and calling it all off. This was NOT what I was looking for.

But again, I said to myself, you shouldn’t be afraid to get outside of your comfort zone.

I know I’ve seen tons of comfort zone related pictures on Instagram. Is this what they are talking about?

I began cleaning my room. Dusting, sweeping and mopping. I even sprayed the perimeter with Raid. Around 80% through, I decided, that I didn’t care about stepping outside of my comfort zone, and into this specific situation. I know comfort zones are not ideal, but I didn’t care about exploring this zone.

I was not going to live comfortably. Period. Roaches were even crawling on the walls. It seemed out of control to me. It was clearly an infestation.

I texted the guy, asking when he would be returning. He responded with 15 minuets. I stepped outside to think and stood by my car.

I decided, that I didn’t care if I was being too picky. It was my money and I would have never agreed to this.

The guy finally comes back and we stepped into his apartment to chat. I told him that the roach situation was exaggerated. As we talked, I kept interrupting him by pointing out new roaches. I asked him, “How many roaches have you sprayed in the 10 minuets that we have been chatting?”

He said, “10 to 15.”

As he said that, a huge roach crawled next to him on the sofa. He flicked it off and sprayed it.

Roaches were even on the SOFA.

I told him that this was not what I had agreed to. He tried to convince me to stay for at least one month while he searched for another roommate. He assured me that the roaches would be completely gone in two weeks. Even if that was true, which I highly doubted, was I supposed to deal with roaches in the toaster and on the sofa for the upcoming two weeks?

I can’t. He said, “In that case, I’ll be forced to keep your deposit.”

“That’s understandable. Good luck with the roaches and finding a new roommate,” I said.

That’s the end of my experience, and the story.

Would you judge it as a standards issue or being too picky? When do you draw the line between the two?

Is this a case of being too hesitant to step outside of my comfort zone?

Thoughts on Mexico

I just got back from a nearly two week trip to Mexico. I’m still in the process of getting back to my regular routine and I’m slowly getting used to everyone saying that they are ‘too busy’ again. It’s crazy how quickly the human body and mind can adapt to a new place. The first day I got back from Mexico it felt very strange to be back home. The floor felt different and the toilets flushed super fast!

I have to say that I miss Mexico. The greenery, fresh air with a slight scent of soil, amazing clouds and friendly people willing to stop and talk. Of course, this is not the case for big cities like Aguascalientes. Aguascalientes is like any other city in the US. I literally couldn’t tell that I was in Mexico besides the fact that the signs were in Spanish and the road was littered with different types of cars that are not sold in the US.

I spent 90% of my time in a small pueblo (town) called Huanusco, Zacatecas. I also visited Jalpa, which is another small town 20 mins away for breakfast every morning. They serve some of the best birria de chiva I’ve ever had (Google it if you are not familiar with the dish). The dish was very filling. It kept me satisfied until 5 or 6 pm.

In the pueblo I stayed in, everything is very different. You walk down the street and are greeted by everyone you encounter. In that small town you know your neighbors and all the store owners. You eventually learn everyone’s first name. In the US I don’t even know the names of my neighbors. I’ve never even shook their hand! Time doesn’t seem to be as coveted as it is here in the US. People over in Mexico don’t mind stopping and talking to you for 10 or 15 mins. In the US everyone is always super busy. They’re so busy they don’t have time to eat sometimes! I’ve had that excuse plenty of times myself.

I realized that the fast paced life we live here is neither right or wrong. It is just another variation of living. You can choose a fast paced life and stay here. Or if you feel more suited for a relaxed life, then a small pueblo in Mexico is right for you. I wouldn’t be surprised if I decide to move to Mexico for 3 to 6 months sometime in the future, because I really liked it. The food is good and the people are friendly. A lot of the meat you eat is going to be grass fed. The air is fresh and the girls are pretty. The clouds form amazing shapes in the sky. There are beautiful views to be seen everyday. The music is enjoyable once you get used to it.

Yes, there is danger in Mexico but there is also a lot of danger in the US if you stumble into the wrong part of town. If you keep to yourself late at night, then you should be safe.

There is a lot of poverty, but it doesn’t seem to stifle the overall content mood of the people. Some of the poorest people I met seemed to be some of the happiest people. Lack of education was normal in the small town I visited. Instead of continuing school, it was valued higher to begin working either on the land or in a nearby shop. Earning money is a priority that sometimes has to be chosen over education. In the US, a decision like that is usually unneeded.

Overall, life in Huanusco, Zacatecas was very enjoyable. It was an experience I won’t forget. I look forward to my next trip over there.

Key signs that you are a nice guy

I recently started reading a book titled No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert A. Glover. I got to page twenty, then started skipping chapters and skimming. It wasn’t really catching my interest so I decided to put it down and start reading something else. I’ll come back to it some other day. The good thing is that I did run into the page where he lays out the signs that you are a nice guy. Contrary to popular belief, being a nice guy is not a good thing. If you want to get the most out of life, then you can’t be a pushover. You have to let your masculine energy out and go after what you want. Forget what women or our society tells you. Letting your masculine energy out is how you get what you want in your health, career, love and friendships.

Here some characteristics of a nice guy.

-Nice guys are givers. 

-Nice guys fix and care-take.

-Nice guys seek approval from others. 

-Nice guys avoid conflict.

-Nice guys believe they must hide their perceived flaws and mistakes.

-Nice guys seek the “right” way to do things.

-Nice guys repress their feelings.

-Nice guys often try to be different from their fathers.

-Nice guys are often more comfortable relating to women than to men.

-Nice guys have difficulty making their needs a priority. 

-Nice guys often make their partner their emotional center.

-Nice guys tend to be disconnected from other men.

-Nice guys tend to be disconnected from their own masculinity.

-Nice guys tend to be monogamous to their mothers. 

-Nice guys tend to be dependent on the approval of women. 

Some of the main takeaways that stand out to me, are that you have to do what you want. Don’t overly care what others think, nor should you bend over backwards to help everyone. Basically, stand your ground and maintain clear boundaries (don’t be apologetic for being a man).

These characteristics are very familiar. I definitely recognize some of them in me and in good friends. When I look at these I can’t help but think that it takes hard work to be awesome. If you just go with the flow and let others dictate your actions, then you will certainly not be awesome. You have to actively pursue awesomeness in every aspect of your life.