Hell yeah and following your gut

Recently, I’ve been noticing that when I do things that make me say, ‘hell yeah,’ it usually turns out great. We are constantly being bombarded with social invitations and obligations. For a long time, I would accept all of them as long as they fit into my schedule. Even, the ones that made me roll my eyes in annoyance. Even, if I truly wanted to say, ‘no I can’t.’

Over the last 6 months, or so, I have only been accepting social invites that illicit a hell yeah out of me. If I think, ‘yeah that’s cool’ I still cancel or say no. Only hell yeah is accepted. I got the idea from Derek Sivers who uses the concept for business purposes. I don’t have that level of business opportunities, being presented to me, so I decided to apply it to my social life.

It has been treating me very well.

A hell yeah reaction is like following your gut. That’s my theory. And, following my gut has led me to having a great time and a lot of fun experiences over the last 6 months. I skipped all the dreaded boring stuff in favor of following my gut and a bunch of hell yeahs.

Following your gut is a real thing. Read the great book titled Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior by Leonard Mlodinow.

You quickly learn that your mind is picking up on so much more information than we are aware of. If we were aware of it all, we would easily go insane. Your gut feeling is your mind telling you what you should do, after it has considered all the information it picked up on, without you being consciously aware.

Next time an invitation makes you say hell yeah, go with it. When the invite doesn’t give you that positive gut feeling, skip out on it. You’ll probably notice that something great will happen instead.

What to do after an important goal is achieved

What happens when you finally achieve an important goal?

What happens when you finally get paid more? What happens when you finally open a gym membership, or get your diet corrected? What happens when you finally find some cool friends, or upgrade your dating life?

What happens next?

Take a moment to enjoy it. Take a breather. Take the day off, and just do what makes you happy. No pressures. No worries. Because, we know that you’re probably going to come up with a new goal tomorrow. We all do it. Enjoy your victory.

If you like reading, let yourself sit around and read all day. If you like sports, let yourself indulge in a few sports games. If you like a certain food, I guess, go ahead and indulge in it.

We could be hard charging all the time, but is that really a wise way to live?

Recently, I was watching a short documentary on a 109 year old man. He was dropping his pearls of wisdom. He was telling his secrets for a long life. Honestly, you could tell he was a happy guy. Why? Because he was smiling the entire time. People who say they’re happy, but never smile, are not happy. I don’t believe them. If you’re happy, you smile. Period.

I’ve seen people who claim to be happy, yet they barely smiled throughout our conversation. Yeah. Sure. I don’t believe you for, even, one second. Regardless, of what you claim. Being happy equals smiling.

Anyway, this old man lives life by doing things he enjoys. If it makes him happy, he does it. If it doesn’t make him happy, he doesn’t do it. Simple. At 109 years old, he might be onto something 🙂 .

He smokes cigars all day. Why? It makes him happy. He feeds his cats every morning. Why? It makes him happy. He begins his day whenever he wakes up. Even, if it’s 2 am or 3 am. Why? It makes him happy. He has four cups of coffee every morning. Why? It makes him happy. He sometimes indulges in whiskey. Why? You can probably guess. He enjoys a small bowl of ice cream in the evenings. Why? Yes, you’re correct. It makes him happy.

Maybe, we don’t want to live our entire life simply doing things that make us happy. But, why not after a major victory? If it makes you happy, go ahead, go for it.

Social media and validation

Last weekend, I was at the restaurant called Yard House. I was minding my own business and eating my food. Then, Dennis Rodman walks in. You know who that is, right? He is famous for a number of reasons (Chicago Bulls, too much partying & a wild sense of style).

Of course, everyone started looking his way. Two guys even went up to him and asked for a photo. He said no, twice. It got me wondering about how much those guys, actually, wanted a photo with Dennis, versus wanting a photo to post it on their Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. I’m willing to bet they wanted the picture solely for their social media accounts. They craved the likes, and the validation of their followers. We all do.

They wanted their friends to comment, ‘Oh that’s so cool.’

And, ‘Where at!!?? You’re so lucky.’

Since I’m a huge NBA fan, I wanted a picture with Dennis too. But, I started thinking, if I never shared that photo with anyone, would I still want it? The answer was, not really. If I couldn’t show the photo to anyone, forever, then I was happy knowing I ran into him.

How many times is that not the case? Do we really need tons of pictures and short videos at Coachella? Or, do we really just want to show off to our social media followers? In reality, we want the likes, thumbs up and praise. We want the validation.

The entire point of life is to actually live it. The point of doing cool things is to be there, not to share it to the point that you’re never actually there in the moment. I’m willing to bet most people miss out on experiencing their cool moments (that they were looking forward to), because they are so busy taking the picture, ensuring the caption is perfect, and posting it.

How much social media validation do you really need?

Interview with Bostjan Belingar (from Boss Life Hacks) on success, books & traveling

bostjan-belingar

Bostjan Belingar, The Player

Bostjan Belingar is a super cool guy. He works extremely hard. He built his videographer skills from scratch. He has traveled all throughout Europe and the United States (& continues to do so). He eats healthy and exercises regularly. He writes for a great blog called Boss Life Hacks dot com. If that were not enough, he even recently published his own book titled The Player: How I Traveled the World With an Elite Dating Coach, part 1.

The book is about his adventures while traveling the world with an elite dating coach, as his assistant. It was a real once in a lifetime opportunity that he wasn’t willing to let pass by. Luckily, he took it and it has changed his life for the better.

I first heard about Bostjan Belingar from the YouTube channel of RSD Max (elite dating coach Bostjan traveled with), where he was getting interviewed. After that, I went over to his blog to read some of his posts, and I’ve been checking on it ever since. Admittedly, I haven’t read his book yet (I told Bostjan), but I do own a copy. Don’t judge me too much 🙂 . It’s definitely on my upcoming books to read list. My brother read it and has said nothing but good things about it.

Bostjan was kind enough to give me 36 minutes of his time, to ask him a few questions, over a Skype call. It was a great chat and I learned a lot. I hope you enjoy the Q & A and get as much from it as I got. Thanks Bostjan.

Onto the questions!

 

1) Do you value sleeping 8 hours per night (recommended healthy amount), or do you prefer working hard & sleeping less? Where do you draw the line between the two?

Okay, so here are my thoughts. I, definitely, value sleep like gold. It is super fucking important. Especially, if you are like Brandon Carter doing gym. Your body needs the rest.

However, it is never black or white. The thing that Max (RSD Max) says, sometimes you have to sacrifice and hustle, is also true. My thing would be to strive to have balance. I always try to get 7 ½ hours of sleep per night. You sleep in cycles, and it’s usually 1 ½ hours per cycle. So, you can just multiply that, 4 ½, 6 and 7 ½. For example, it is better to sleep 4 ½ hours rather than 5 hours. It depends on your body, but these cycles are important.

How I do it is, for example, yesterday I wanted to go out and I couldn’t sleep for 7 ½. I slept just for 6 hours. In the afternoon, after my gym time and meal, I will plan for a short nap. I will probably take a 20 minute power nap. You can do a 1 ½ hour nap during the day as well, but if you take it too late you will fuck up your sleep schedule.

There are other factors that come into play. For example, I put aluminum foil on my windows so I can have a completely darkened room. It is good to take Omega-3 supplements before sleeping. There are a lot of factors to sleep, because it is super important.

If your sleep is good, it will be better than any supplement or diet for improving your health. You can’t go a week, or even a month, with just 4 hours of sleep per night. If you do that you will have serious problems. You won’t be able to survive. I think you can sacrifice 2 or 3 days per week, in a row, with below 6 hours or 4 hours if you have to, but you have to plan to get it back.

It’s not healthy to sprint full out until you burn out and almost die/ collapse, and be destroyed for a while. Recover, then get up and sprint again. It’s not a sustainable tempo. You learn something from trying it out, so I guess it’s okay to try it out. I would not willingly do that. I think it’s not healthy. I think it’s not proper. It’s usually a bad idea and all sorts of bullshit starts to happen.

But, then again if you have a strong wish. If you are very focused. If you know why. Okay do it, but be sure to balance it. Get that sleep back somehow.

You have to know the difference between hustle and the persona. There is a person, and then there is a media persona. You don’t see everything on Snapchat and YouTube. You see a lot, and these people let you into their private lives a lot. But, you don’t see everything. There are cheat days and relaxation days that you don’t get to see.

 

2) For someone who has never traveled before, how much money would you say they need to earn per month in US dollars? Whether it’s from a small business they run, savings, or maybe some freelance work. The goal is to stay in decent places & have some memorable experiences outside of their home country.

I can’t say anything about South America, because I haven’t been there. But, in most of Europe you can get by with $1000 per month. You won’t live like a king, but you can stay at Airbnb and hostels at the more expensive countries (England & France). I know it sounds ridiculous, but with $1000 per month you can travel and live with that easily. I did it with $500 a month.

It’s not as expensive as you would think. All the airplane tickets in Europe are, more or less, $100 for a one way ticket. I was in Prague, with my chick, and I stayed for $20 a night with Airbnb. It was in the middle of Prague. Over here, in Romania, for $25-$30 per night you get a Flat in the center of the city. If you want a room a little bit outside, it would be $10.

You need to be a little smart. Don’t sleep in hotels. Sometimes, try to meet somebody and crash on their couch for a week. You can, easily, travel through Europe on $1000 per month.

Traveling is the best thing possible. You will learn so much. You will meet new people and you will discover yourself. Save up 5k and go traveling for 3 months. Come back if you want and you didn’t lose anything. You just gained tons of experiences. Imagine 3 months in Europe, especially in the summer. Do you know how awesome it is in the summer? Parties everywhere. People happy.

You can go to Spain, France and Greece. Greece is very cheap. If you want to live for cheap, go to Eastern Europe. Romania, Bulgaria, Poland, and Czech Republic. Do you know how freeing that feeling is when you have everything open? It’s amazing. It’s wow.

You should have a little bit of a budget behind you. I’m a little bit of a control freak, so I don’t like to go until I’m empty. You know how many girls I’ve meet that go with the flow. For example, in Lithuania they are super poor. What they do there is, they save up enough money for a one-way plane ticket to Greece, or some other summer country. Like Ibiza. They get a job as a bartender and they tell me all these awesome stories. They don’t really care. They save up for the ticket and just go. And it always turns out well for them. But, I prefer to have a little more cash.

 

3) Which three books have you read, in the last 12 months, that have had the biggest impacts on you? What are you reading right now?

Definitely, the most and the craziest one, is the one I’m reading right now. I’m reading Tools Of Titans by Tim Ferriss. It’s amazing on so many levels. It’s a book that if I were super cool, awesome, rich and educated, I would write in about 50 years. But, Tim did it before me. You can learn everything. It has parts on wisdom, health and wealth. You learn everything from meditation hacks, ayahuasca trips, sleep hacks, body hacks, relationships, work and how to make money. That book is like a bible. You can learn anything. It’s amazing. It has the top performers of the world. It’s very awesome. You can reread it too. What I do is just open it to a random page. I, usually, always learn something new.

Also, a book that was recommended by Max, Linchpin by Seth Godin. It’s really good, because you can learn how to be indispensable. When I started to work with Max I was, essentially, out of the regular job market. I had regular jobs, but I didn’t know anything about entrepreneurship and freelancing. That book taught me how to do that and become a linchpin/ indispensable.

I really like The Little Prince (by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry), to be honest. I will put that as my third one. It’s cute, but it has really good metaphors. Again, Seth Godin and Tim Ferriss talk about performance and how to bring things to the world. But, The Little Prince is about love, why are we here, and people dying. It’s really cool, and I like it.

 

4) What’s your definition of success? Who pops into your mind when you hear, ‘success’?

It’s from the Tim Ferriss book, right? The first name is probably him (Tim), or Richard Branson. They say you should brainstorm to the second or third name. The second one could be the guys that I work for. So, Mario Tomic, RSD Max

I got it. Derek Sivers! He’s the one. He is very conventionally successful. He has made a lot of money. He had a company etc. He still knows how to have a lot of fun and disconnect himself. He knows how to chill. If you check out his website at Sivers dot org, you will see that he has a sort of funny post writing style. On the website, he encourages you to write to him. I wrote him an email and funny enough after a week I got a response. We ended up having a little chat about hobbies and things like that. It was super cool. I want to be that guy. I don’t want to be rich and successful to buy more cars. I want to be rich and successful so that I can chill out and play more.

 

5) Do you have 1 or 2 favorite YouTube videos that you find yourself re-watching over & over again? What are they?

I had one in the past. I don’t know if it still applies, but years ago I would constantly re-watch a video. It was Will Smith’s wisdom. I think it was a 7 minute video.

At the moment, I don’t have any. That one was in the past and I think I just switched mindsets from the ‘get more information’/ ‘feel a bit lost’/ ‘not sure what to do and not sure of myself’ mind space to, 2 years after working with Max, ‘I’ll just figure this shit out’ mind space.

Now, if I need information I will check YouTube. I’ll try to get the information and begin working on it. I’ll start doing it myself. I kind of swapped.

I don’t know if that makes sense. I swapped from that past mind space of needing constant input to be able to do (fuel from the inside). I now just work, produce, ship and do the things I feel I should be doing. Sometimes it fails and sometimes it works.

 

There you have it. Thanks again to Bostjan!

If you’re looking to read, or add more books to your Amazon list, check out Bostjan’s book

>>> The Player: How I Traveled the World With an Elite Dating Coach, part 1 <<<.

You won’t be disappointed 🙂 .